Trust can be a funny thing. Some might say it’s an emotion. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “to trust is to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you.” Trust does heavily rely on feelings and therefore it affects our emotions. Trust is important in all types of relationships in our lives, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, anyone. Trust is earned. Trust does not just pop up overnight like a Twitter notification. You don’t instantly start trusting your friend not to tell others your secrets and your partner to always treat you right. It happens overtime by learning more about each other. By building the relationship between each other. When I trust the people in my life, I don’t ever even second guess it. If I trust someone, I do so completely and utterly. I don’t go around trying to dig deep to find something. I don’t go searching for anything because once you trust someone, this wouldn’t even come to mind.
However, if you were to find out that someone has betrayed your trust, it gets tricky. Some people seem to think that it’s easy to trust that person again and be 100% normal with them, but it’s a bit harder than that. Especially when you trusted them so completely that you would’ve never even guessed it. It’s even worse if they do something that affects how much (or little) you trust them again. So if you’re the person that’s messed up and you want to regain someone’s trust again… here’s what you should do. There’s not guarantee that this will help, but it’s always better to try and fail than to never try at all.
1. Show them that you’re sorry.
If you treat it like an issue that’s not really that important, it will make the person feel like you don’t even care. So what’s the point of them even investing their feelings and emotions in you again? So make sure you’re sincerely sorry for whatever you did and make sure they know that. It always helps to apologise right away instead of arguing and making each other more upset. Sometimes an apology from the bottom of your heart that comes right away is all it takes.
2. Be kind.
Don’t get angry at them for not trusting you. I know this might just be an instant reaction but don’t do it. That’s just not going to help, at all. I’ve had instances in my life where the people betraying my trust got upset with me for not trusting them right away and even shifting the blame on me. This will just make matters worse. Be kind, be understanding. Don’t bring out past issues, don’t shift the blame. Be nice and accept it if you did something wrong.
3. Show them that they can trust you again.
Invest some of your feelings in them. Perhaps tell them something about you that nobody knows. Show them that you trust them just as much as they should trust you. Don’t repeat your mistakes. Don’t do things that would make them paranoid. Show them that you can be trusted and sooner or later they will.
Of course, you can’t always please everyone and you shouldn’t waste your whole life trying to prove yourself to someone. But if you show them you’re sorry, that you’re kind to them and that you show them you can be trusted again, you won’t have to waste years to get their trust back. Trust is earned and if you treat people right, they will treat you right back.
Be kind, be humble.
– Helina x