Here I’ll Stay.

I get questions all the time from people back at home in Estonia… Is Estonia no longer your home? Are you going to be British now? Are you ever going to come back to Estonia to live here permanently? It’s all a little bit weird for me because to me, Estonia is and always will be my home. It is where I grew up, it is where my family lives, it is the language I speak and it has made me the person I am today. Although I am currently living in the United Kingdom and it was my life-long dream, it doesn’t make Estonia and my family home any less my home.

When I was back at home in Estonia about a week ago, I went to the 12th Youth Song and Dance Celebration called Here I’ll Stay, which really made me proud of where I am from. It reminded me what our little country has gone through to be independent and what a big role every person in Estonia has had in this. Thousands of people singing and dancing together, laughing together. The rest of the world might see Estonians as quite ‘cold’ people but during that event, you could only feel warmth and love.

I’ll always be proud of where I’m from. And one day I’d love to move back to my little country again after travelling the rest of the world. And then I can say ‘Here I’ll stay’.

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– Helina x

Here I’ll Stay.

Summer Essentials!

What time is it? It’s summer time! (Yes, that was a High School Musical reference). It’s been so incredibly hot here in the UK the past few days and I’ve acquired quite a few essentials to get me through this time as I’m a massive lover of cold weather. This blog post is basically about all the things I think you absolutely NEED.

1. Banana Milkshake

This might sound simple and random but honestly, this is the best thing ever. I use soya milk and Nesquik Banana Powder to create mine. It takes 5 seconds to do and tastes incredible. Throw some ice cubes in and you’re good to go! My favourite thing this summer!

2. Snickers Ice Cream

Oh. My. Gosh. I had forgotten how amazingly perfect Snickers Ice Cream is. I could eat about 10 of them per day (I try not to though haha). Also, for those who might be interested, the ice cream version of Snickers doesn’t contain egg. My boyfriend doesn’t eat egg products, so he for one is more than happy about this ice cream. The best snack for this summer hands down!

3. Dresses!

I’ve never been one to wear dresses but these hot days have completely converted me. My favourite ones are from New Look, so if you’re on the look out for a new summer dress then check it out. I pair mine with white Converse and it’s honestly the comfiest outfit ever!

4. Yellow Nail Polish

Yellow is my favourite colour, so of course it makes me happy to wear yellow nail polish. But honestly, what other colour represents summer better than yellow? I recently bought this nail polish by Barry M and it has quickly become my favourite. I can wear a dull coloured outfit with just this nail polish and it just brightens up the whole look!

Let me know what your summer essentials are – I’d love to discover some more staples!

Be kind, be humble.

– Helina x

Summer Essentials!

Moving House.

Hello everyone! To most of you, this blog post won’t be that different. But for me life has completely transformed. I’ve moved house! I’m still in the United Kingdom but as I just finished my Bachelors Degree at University College Birmingham, I had to move out of my student accommodation. I’ve lived in student accommodation for three years and I can definitely say that’s enough for me. My future is now in Loughborough, where I will be studying for a Masters Degree in International Management.

And because my boyfriend is also a student at Loughborough University studying Civil Engineering, we thought why don’t both of us move out of student accommodation and rent a whole house for ourselves instead?

So here I am, sat on the floor of our living room (because I can’t find my long laptop charger and the plug is too far from the couch), hotspotting data from my phone (since we still don’t have any Wi-Fi), and thinking of how lucky I am.

When I first moved to England, I had no idea that I would end up in Loughborough. I wouldn’t even have dreamt of living in a house with someone I love after my Bachelors Degree. But here I am, happier than ever.

For the past few days, we’ve been putting together furniture and I can honestly tell you that putting together IKEA furniture is far harder than you think. If you think you can put together 10 big pieces of furniture in one day, think again. It’s taken us around 2-3 days to put together all furniture, we’ve had numerous nights of staying up until 5 am but it has been so worth it. I finally feel like home in England. It used to feel kind of like a stop along the way of my journey, but now it finally feels official. I live in the United Kingdom. Who would’ve ever guessed that. I cannot even express how happy I am. My lifelong dream has finally come true at the age of 22, and this is just the first step of my journey. I have so many more hopes and dreams, so many places still visit and so many experiences to still go through. I am so excited for everything that the future holds, and this is just the beginning.

So what’s better about living in a house rather than in student accommodation? Well, here’s a shortlist I can make in two minutes flat:

  1. No noise. Yes, neighbours can be noisy but we are quite lucky as so far we haven’t heard anything at all. It’s so nice to finally have peace and quiet.
  2. No parties. This kind of goes together with the first point but this also means that you can sleep whenever without anyone waking you up in the middle of the night. And this I’m so happy about!
  3. CLEAN KITCHEN / LIVING ROOM! Now this is by far my favourite thing about living in our own house. No filthy food in the sink, no mountains of unwashed dishes, no someone’s week-old leftovers, no stinky fridge, no oily cookers, no mess. I honestly cannot express to you how disgusting living with 10 people gets, especially when you like everything clean and tidy. I feel a thousand times more motivated and happy now that I don’t have to walk through a dirty kitchen every day. YAY!
  4. SO MUCH SPACE! Another very important part is the space. In student accommodation I had 2 little cupboards that barely fit any food inside. Plus, in the fridge I had just half a shelf as well as one shelf in the freezer. Now we’ve got the whole fridge and freezer to ourselves. There’s just something about having all that space to ourselves and knowing we are keeping it clean – not just throwing our leftovers in it.
  5. Just us. In our house, it’s just us. I honestly appreciate alone time so much. Most of the time in student accommodation, I’d run to the kitchen, cook something quickly, run back to my room, put my headphones in and ignore the world haha. Now, there’s just no need. Some of you might like having people around constantly but not me.

Overall, living in our own little house is amazing. We are only getting started with all the decorating but it already feels like home. I hope you guys are having a lovely time enjoying your time off from university, but life’s too short to waste days on doing nothing. Do what I did and make at least one of your dreams come true this summer.

Be kind, be humble, make it happen.

– Helina x

Moving House.

Trust.

Trust can be a funny thing. Some might say it’s an emotion. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “to trust is to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you.” Trust does heavily rely on feelings and therefore it affects our emotions. Trust is important in all types of relationships in our lives, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, anyone. Trust is earned. Trust does not just pop up overnight like a Twitter notification. You don’t instantly start trusting your friend not to tell others your secrets and your partner to always treat you right. It happens overtime by learning more about each other. By building the relationship between each other. When I trust the people in my life, I don’t ever even second guess it. If I trust someone, I do so completely and utterly. I don’t go around trying to dig deep to find something. I don’t go searching for anything because once you trust someone, this wouldn’t even come to mind.

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However, if you were to find out that someone has betrayed your trust, it gets tricky. Some people seem to think that it’s easy to trust that person again and be 100% normal with them, but it’s a bit harder than that. Especially when you trusted them so completely that you would’ve never even guessed it. It’s even worse if they do something that affects how much (or little) you trust them again. So if you’re the person that’s messed up and you want to regain someone’s trust again… here’s what you should do. There’s not guarantee that this will help, but it’s always better to try and fail than to never try at all.

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1. Show them that you’re sorry.

If you treat it like an issue that’s not really that important, it will make the person feel like you don’t even care. So what’s the point of them even investing their feelings and emotions in you again? So make sure you’re sincerely sorry for whatever you did and make sure they know that. It always helps to apologise right away instead of arguing and making each other more upset. Sometimes an apology from the bottom of your heart that comes right away is all it takes.

2. Be kind.

Don’t get angry at them for not trusting you. I know this might just be an instant reaction but don’t do it. That’s just not going to help, at all. I’ve had instances in my life where the people betraying my trust got upset with me for not trusting them right away and even shifting the blame on me. This will just make matters worse. Be kind, be understanding. Don’t bring out past issues, don’t shift the blame. Be nice and accept it if you did something wrong.

3. Show them that they can trust you again.

Invest some of your feelings in them. Perhaps tell them something about you that nobody knows. Show them that you trust them just as much as they should trust you. Don’t repeat your mistakes. Don’t do things that would make them paranoid. Show them that you can be trusted and sooner or later they will.

Of course, you can’t always please everyone and you shouldn’t waste your whole life trying to prove yourself to someone.  But if you show them you’re sorry, that you’re kind to them and that you show them you can be trusted again, you won’t have to waste years to get their trust back. Trust is earned and if you treat people right, they will treat you right back.

Be kind, be humble.

– Helina x

Trust.

Feeling Homesick

Lately I’ve been missing home more than anything. I’ve finished university after three years and I’m going on to my masters degree next year. This summer I’m also moving in with my boyfriend and pretty much starting my independent life properly. This is the first summer I haven’t gone back home for the full summer (3 months!) and it feels a bit weird.

I miss my house and the fluffy rug in my room. I miss the massive beanbags my mum made herself (they’re the size of a small room honestly, absolutely MASSIVE). I miss my parents’ pink room and I miss our comfy living room with a fireplace in it. I miss my cat who’s the fluffiest, softest and cuddliest thing in the world. I miss my nephew Kennert who always knows how to put a smile on my face and I miss my nephew Karel who’s just the smallest cutest guy ever and who I have only met twice in my life due to living so far away. I miss my mum who’s the funniest smartest most caring person in the world and I miss my dad who’s the strongest kindest and most supportive person in my life. I miss my brother who makes stupid jokes but is someone I can always count on. I miss my friend Maris who’s always there for me throughout everything and I miss my friend Kaisa who I haven’t seen for months but who always makes me laugh until I cry. I miss all of these people and I miss my home town and the sea and the river being so close to my house. But here’s the thing… These people are still in my life. Although I’ve lived far away for 3 years I know they’re all still there. There for me just like I am still there for them. And I feel so lucky.

Appreciate the people in your life who love you just as much as you love them. These are the people that are going to be there for you through every step of your life, no matter how far you are. If you’re homesick and you miss them, then let them know. They’re only a phone call or a message away.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

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– Helina x

Feeling Homesick