Trust.

Trust can be a funny thing. Some might say it’s an emotion. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “to trust is to believe that someone is good and honest and will not harm you.” Trust does heavily rely on feelings and therefore it affects our emotions. Trust is important in all types of relationships in our lives, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, anyone. Trust is earned. Trust does not just pop up overnight like a Twitter notification. You don’t instantly start trusting your friend not to tell others your secrets and your partner to always treat you right. It happens overtime by learning more about each other. By building the relationship between each other. When I trust the people in my life, I don’t ever even second guess it. If I trust someone, I do so completely and utterly. I don’t go around trying to dig deep to find something. I don’t go searching for anything because once you trust someone, this wouldn’t even come to mind.

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However, if you were to find out that someone has betrayed your trust, it gets tricky. Some people seem to think that it’s easy to trust that person again and be 100% normal with them, but it’s a bit harder than that. Especially when you trusted them so completely that you would’ve never even guessed it. It’s even worse if they do something that affects how much (or little) you trust them again. So if you’re the person that’s messed up and you want to regain someone’s trust again… here’s what you should do. There’s not guarantee that this will help, but it’s always better to try and fail than to never try at all.

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1. Show them that you’re sorry.

If you treat it like an issue that’s not really that important, it will make the person feel like you don’t even care. So what’s the point of them even investing their feelings and emotions in you again? So make sure you’re sincerely sorry for whatever you did and make sure they know that. It always helps to apologise right away instead of arguing and making each other more upset. Sometimes an apology from the bottom of your heart that comes right away is all it takes.

2. Be kind.

Don’t get angry at them for not trusting you. I know this might just be an instant reaction but don’t do it. That’s just not going to help, at all. I’ve had instances in my life where the people betraying my trust got upset with me for not trusting them right away and even shifting the blame on me. This will just make matters worse. Be kind, be understanding. Don’t bring out past issues, don’t shift the blame. Be nice and accept it if you did something wrong.

3. Show them that they can trust you again.

Invest some of your feelings in them. Perhaps tell them something about you that nobody knows. Show them that you trust them just as much as they should trust you. Don’t repeat your mistakes. Don’t do things that would make them paranoid. Show them that you can be trusted and sooner or later they will.

Of course, you can’t always please everyone and you shouldn’t waste your whole life trying to prove yourself to someone.  But if you show them you’re sorry, that you’re kind to them and that you show them you can be trusted again, you won’t have to waste years to get their trust back. Trust is earned and if you treat people right, they will treat you right back.

Be kind, be humble.

– Helina x

Trust.

Bad Days…

Sometimes bad things happen. Actually, bad things happen every day. Whether it’s your sandwich falling on the floor, getting a bad grade, breaking your phone screen or something more serious. But it is not the end of the world, I promise you.

Recently, my boyfriend and I were on our way to the London Stansted airport to get on our flight back to Estonia and we were beyond excited. The day was all running smoothly, we got a cheeky little McDonalds meal on the way and we were happy to be going to our hotel for the day on a lovely sunny day. We planned on sleeping at a hotel near the airport and we paid for the car to stay there for two weeks while we’re gone. But things didn’t go quite according to plan…

We were 30 minutes away from the hotel when we noticed that the engine temperature was flashing bright red and was on maximum. First of all, we thought it might be a mistake as the light disappeared but it came back in a minute and the temperature meter did not go back down anymore. That’s when we knew something was wrong and we looked for the fastest exit from the motorway so we could stop somewhere. We turned off to a road that we had never been before and stopped the car. When we got out and looked under the bonnet it was all full of smoke. UH-OH! Needless to say, we were shocked and not entirely sure what had caused it so it was time to have a million phone calls to get it sorted. We waited three hours in the middle of nowhere, amongst chickens and cows somewhere called Godmanchester, until someone came to have a look. Unfortunately, there was absolutely nothing that he could do as some part of the radiator pipe had completely burst and it was unfixable at the spot. At that moment we knew, the day was not going to be as we expected at all. We knew the car had to be taken away but we had to make it to the hotel to catch our flight early in the morning, which made the day even worse – the worry of not actually being able to go back home to Estonia. Two hours later the truck that took our car away arrived. We unloaded the car of our suitcases and said bye to our car, which was quite weird as you have to give away your car and your keys to a complete stranger. Honestly, none of this what we expected. But life happens and sometimes it’s not that great. Sometimes it’s pretty horrible.

Although the day consisted of 6 hours of sitting down in the middle of nowhere, worried with nothing to do at all, there were some good parts. It was so sunny throughout the whole time so we just sat on the grass on the side of the road and enjoyed the flowers and the animals around us. We listened to songs and sang at the top of our lungs. We were never sad or angry at anyone because we had each other the whole time to keep each other company. To be honest, those 6 hours weren’t that bad after all. I was with someone that I love on a warm sunny day, resting on the grass with the countryside around us. And that, despite all the worries, sounds pretty perfect to me.

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Also, after all this drama, the company dealing with this car drama ordered us a taxi that they paid for to take us to the hotel. YAY! When we arrived, we saw the amazingly beautiful hotel and everyone there was lovely. We ordered the much deserved room service (as we hadn’t had a sip of water or even a bite of food for over 6 hours) and enjoyed every bit of it. We even had baths to try and relax before our early flight. And although instead of spending the day at the hotel and only being there for 5 hours (sleeping for 2 hours), the time we spent there was wonderful. It’s not about what happens throughout the day, it’s about the people who get through it with you.

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I hope you can find something good in every day no matter the worries and troubles in your life. Whether it’s a yummy chocolate bar you had or a hug from a friend. There’s always something to be grateful for, and remember, in a few months you probably won’t even remember this day that wasn’t that great. Stay positive. Stay happy. Stay humble.

– Helina x

Bad Days…